Tuesday, October 21, 2014

EW! EW! EW!

So I was reading last week's issue of Entertainment Weekly in the bathroom (like you don't read on the toilet - shut up!), and there were a few random thoughts that just made me want to blog today.

It's not the fact that Michael Keaton is on the cover, and Birdman is supposed to be a great new film resurrecting his career.  It was really more the music section.  But then I kept thumbing through backwards and, well, found more.

SOUND BITES: This is probably my favorite thing in this magazine every week, with The Bullseye a close second. This week reminded me that Michael Che is much better and more comfortable on SNL's fake news than Colin Jost will ever be.  He's not working.

THE MUST LIST: I'm about 97% sure I want to see Whiplash, but I have no idea who else will want to go with me.  I also don't give a rip about The Voice.

Could there be any MORE cigarette ads in this magazine?  "SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks To Your Health."  How is that a warning, and why is every word capitalized?

NEWS and NOTES: According to the Fall TV Face-off, I'm watching all the right stuff!  WOO!  Gotham, Scorpion, Sleepy Hallow, The Blacklist are all winning their time slots.  I enjoy them all, but honestly the only shows I can't live without are The Walking Dead, American Horror Story and The Goldbergs. Oh, and Bono is still a hugable dick.  Just sayin'!  I mean, just give it away whether people want it or not?  How arrogantly nice of you!  See?  Hugable dick!

Two full-page ads for YouTube shows?  How long before we simply no longer have TVs or networks?

OK, fine - I want to see Birdman, too!

The "Bold New Camry" ad is cracking me up!  Yeah, real bold to change the style of the car every 15 years.  Wow, this ad makes no sense.

Movies: There's a BINGE! section about Bill Murray, including the essential films.  How is it I've never seen Meatballs or Stripes?  That's the fact, Jack!  Also, Hilary Swank can grow her hair as long as she wants, but she still looks like a dude.  While I'm here, so does Jessica Simpson.

TV: As excited as I am that both American Horror Story and The Walking Dead have reviews/articles, I'm a little insulted that they both only received a B+.  Jeffrey Tambor looks pretty good as a woman.

Music: When your lead story here is a 20-year-old reissue by a boring and dead band (Oasis), you've pretty much lost me.  How many times can you release and re-release this album?  This is the 3rd, if you're counting at home.  I think Jessie J needs to show her arm pits more.  Just when I thought I knew what I was doing as far as watching TV, the TV JUKEBOX shows me I am clearly not.  All I watch of the 6 shows mentioned is Person Of Interest.  I'm apparently not hep, or I simply don't have that much time on my hands.  Trent Reznor is a stud, still.  The article where he breaks down the process of writing the score to Gone Girl is pretty cool.  I'm not much into LA dance music, but seeing Flying Lotus' Playlist, I think I can dig him!  Queen, King Crimson, Miles Davis, Pink Floyd, Mr. Oizo...  Damn - love the diverse influences!

OK, I'm done.
Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!