Friday, May 22, 2009

Keep it COMING!

...That's what she said...

No, I mean GO NUGGETS! Yeah! That's what I meant.

Something about the pained look on Kobe's face made me very happy. How does it feel, Kobe? Like someone took something from you without your permission? Possibly forced you to give it up? Huh???

Like a nerd, I'm on Twitter. However, it helps me keep up with a brilliant columnist I kinda forgot about. He hates the Lakers too.

I don't get the whole Lady Gaga thing. Is she a model or a musician? Are we supposed to admire her for her freakish fashion sense, or because she recorded a typical dance track? I'm lost.

Ooooohhhh! Lost season finale was AWESOME! Jacob - dead? How many Locke's are there? Did the bomb stop the plane from crashing? How could a bomb set off in 1977 stop a plane from crashing in 2004? Ah, what a show! JJ Abrams is a freakin GOD! Fringe is awesome as well - perfectly fills the hole left years ago by the X Files. And, for our 11th wedding anniversary, KT and I are off to see the new Star Trek - by Abrams! After all, what would our anniversary be without a sci-fi movie date?

McG is behind the new Terminator film. I wasn't too interested in it until I realized that. Dude rocked the Charlie's Angels films!

It's OK to love yer pets... A man in WY sucked snake venom out of his dog's nose after the dog was bitten by a rattler. Almost killed both of them, and cost the owner $3500 in antivenin. I'd say something about spending that much on a dog, but my bionic dog has 2 titanium knees that cost us over $4000.

Remember that teacher who had an affair with her 6th grade student? Yes, a woman and a 12-year-old. Her name is Mary Kay Letourneau and, in keeping with her white-trash mentality, she hosted a "Hot for Teacher" night at a bar in Seattle. That's class! If yer not creeped out enough yet, she met her future husband when he was in 2nd grade. Who threw up in their mouth right there?

Is that a banana in your... A man dressed in an ape suit tried to steal a banana display in Wisconsin. And I thought seeing a guy in a chicken suit sing Karaoke Sinatra was weird.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Well, Well, Well...

I know - a new post. Shocking.

Shuddap!

I'm on vacation.

Unpaid.

Stuck around as Katy is working.

So...

Of the 27 NFL headlines on Yahoo today, 10 were about Michael Vick. I don't care. Seriously. Did he pay his debt, does he owe society more, should he be reinstated, blah, blah, blah... Was it a coincidence that there was a rerun of CSI on today with a story about dog fighting? Maybe!

Speaking of the NFL, do you remember that Super Bowl thing back in February? Remember James Harrison of the Steelers? The guy who returned an interception 100 yards for a touchdown? Well, he refused the invitation to visit the White House with the rest of the team. The reason? "If you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl. As far as I'm concerned, (President Barack Obama) would've invited Arizona if they had won." It's true - it's called a tradition. The President invites the Super Bowl winner, the World Series winner, NBA Championship... Dude is a moron.

Did I say moron? Ocho Cinco. Seriously.

Yes, it's May and I'm talking football.

I need this!

I'm talking football because the Rockies suck harder than, well, the Avs did last season. But wait...

The Nuggets can beat the Lakers. They CAN beat the Lakers. I'm a little nervous about JR Smith's injury at the end of the game, but if he's a go, we'll take it in 6.

I can't sleep at night because I get songs to kids TV shows stuck in my head. Help!

Luc will say anything you ask him to say. Or sometimes DON'T ask him to say. With that said, watch yer language if you visit our home.

People in SLC have weird hobbies. An 11-year-old kid wanted to break the world record for most live snails on his face at once. His 3 moms, 7 brothers and 13 sisters cheered him on. What would Joseph Smith do?

Kids these days! A woman in Dallas gave birth to twins with different fathers. On the next Maury!

I also need this!

A new way to haggle! Don't like the price? Beat the crap out of the seller! A man in Germany beat up a woman because her asking price for WHITE ASPARAGUS was too high for his liking. So glad I don't sell cars anymore!

Justin Timberlake might be the greatest SNL host of all time. Don't believe me? Try THIS! Still need convincing? How about THIS? Really? More? Fine - HERE!

OWIE! Further proof that soccer players are a bunch of puddies. Disciplinary action for hair pulling? Stop - really, it's embarrassing.
Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!