Tuesday, June 05, 2007

PAFC Newsletter 6/05/07

Is it horrible of me to want Paris Hilton to get the living crap beat out of her in jail? Maybe, but seriously, I want some pissed-off murderer to pull out a shank and gut her. THEN we will know what she ate for dinner without having to rely on the media heresy.

So, I'm sitting here importing my CD's so I can load them onto the Pat Angello Fan Pod, and I thought, "Let's do a newsletter!" Sorry, no new pics of Luc yet, but soon! All you get for now is the stork on the left.

Yer Mother-In-Law is a drill sergeant! Poor Private Duncan Schneider! Dude joins the Army and gets assigned to his mother-in-law's platoon! The guy is probably begging to be sent to Iraq!

Fill 'er up and nobody gets hurt! A man in Salt Lake forced a woman who was filling her car with gas to fill the tank on his SUV. The guy stuck what he said was a gun in her back, so she did as she was told. Wow, the price of gas is making the Mormons feisty!

Dumb-dumb-dumb! Dumb-dumb-duh-dumb! 1683 people in Kansas City gathered together in an effort to set a world record for the most guitarists playing "Smoke on the Water" at the same time, because apparently there's nothing else to do in Kansas City. Here's my favorite quote from a participant:

"I thought it was going to be kind of cheesy," said Hannah Koch, of Prairie Village, who came clad in an elf costume. "But after I got here, I got caught up in the excitement of it."

Elf costume? Yeah, nothing cheesy about that! They later set a world record for biggest group of losers to eat 50 hot dogs each while doing the Macarena.

Speaking of nothing to do, welcome to Idaho! A 42-year-old pervy was arrested for stealing over 200 panties. So THAT'S where Pee-Wee Herman is these days!

MAKE IT STOP! A man in NYC drank an energy boost drink and it boosted his, ya know, THING and it wouldn't stop! It was so bad that the guy had to undergo surgery to have a shunt put in that redirected the blood rushing to his tool. GAH! I bet you won't believe this, but he's suing the makers of the drink! Meanwhile, every guy in NYC is trying to purchase it. Hey, it's cheaper than Viagra. That should be their slogan!

Finally, I probably shouldn't be sharing this with you, but sometimes I find myself so damn funny! (Dad, don't print this for Mom!) Anyway, Luc has a little bouncy chair that also vibrates. (Wait for it!) So, sometimes when he's cranky or fussy, we put him in there and turn it on. He does settle down and stops crying, but he gets a really funny look on his face that makes me laugh. I told my wife, "He looks like he's thinking, 'This feels kinda weird but I think I like it!' Sort of like you when we're doing it."

Thanks, I've got an upcoming show on 6/29 at Java Guru in Castle Rock! Really!

What? You want a VIDEO? OK, since Billy sent me this one...


No comments:

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!