Um, not really.
OK, so do you see that cute picture of my lovely wife (and Usman and Maaria)? KT is enjoying some cool music by my boss on Friday night, as well as a low-carb chai tea. She didn’t look so happy at around 3AM.
Hey – a back story! A few years ago my wife and I tried a low-carb diet, following Dr. Atkins. I lost 20 pounds very quickly, and then gained it all back, not to mention my cholesterol was probably through the roof from eating nothing but hot wings, salami, and eggs. Anywho, we ventured into some low-carb sweets, many of which contained a sugar substitute called Malitol (or Maltitol) – a sugar alcohol that sweetened up candy. One night KT had a small bag of gummi bears made with Malitol. By midnight she was so cramped up with gas pains that she was in fetal position on the floor in the bathroom in tears. I quickly went to the grocery store and picked up some Gas-X for her and she eventually returned to normal. Now you know.
I heard KT get up out of bed around 3 and go to the potty. She came back to bed, but jumped up again about 30 minutes later. I went in to see if she was OK, but she was in pain in her intestines the same way she was a few years ago. I wondered aloud if her low-carb drink contained Malitol. Even though she ingested some Gas-X, I went and got her some Rolaids because the Gas-X did nothing. I went back to bed.
Katy left the bathroom and went downstairs. I heard the front door open and close and wondered what the heck she was doing. Since we were planning on leaving at around 6AM, I figured she just couldn’t sleep and she was packing and getting ready for our trip – going to the garage to get coolers and ponchos, etc. I was not even close. Katy had been walking the neighborhood in the middle of the night because she was in so much pain that sitting and/or lying down was not an option.
My poor wife finally woke me up at 4:30 and told me she needed to go to the emergency room. She was in so much pain and crying that I couldn’t argue, so off we went.
I stood there by her side at the hospital feeling absolutely helpless. You just wish there was SOMETHING you could do to relieve her pain, but we were at the mercy of the doctors. Finally, they threw some painkillers into her IV and she drifted off to a more comfortable sleepy place. Then the doctors went to work on all sorts of tests. Katy had the pleasure of going through a pelvic exam, an MRI, an ultrasound, and anything else the doctors felt they could bill our insurance company for. They kept poking at her to find out where the pain was, and many tests they did were probably unnecessary. But who were we to argue? We just wanted to find out what was wrong. No kidney stone, no gallbladder issues, no female problems, so what gives?
Finally, after nearly 6 hours of getting poked and prodded, the painkillers had worn off long ago, the tests were all negative, and my sweet little princess felt just fine! The doctors couldn’t find anything, so they let her go with a prescription for pain and anti-spas in case she got gurgly again.
We hit the road and the trip went well. Even though we missed the hike, we still made it for the extravagant Rico BBQ and got to catch up with our friends.
Tomorrow, Hippie Fest here we come!