Thursday, May 04, 2006

Hey! I Thought You Said You’d Keep Bloggin’!


Yeah, well - WHATEVER! I’m a busy kid these days. I like the new gig so far, but I feel like I’m neglecting everyone ELSE’S blogs, forget my own. Hell, it doesn’t really take much time to throw this garbage together, but I miss visiting the other great bloggers that I’ve linked to. I’ll make up for it this weekend, I promise!

Another drunken Kennedy. What else is new? At least he didn’t kill anyone - yet!

Woman gives premature birth to toddler. A woman in California gave birth a month early to a 14-pound baby. The kid came out with a full set of teeth and speaking Spanish. Governor Arnold said, "Dat’s how we doo tings in dis dtate now. Biggar and more eeffishant!"

Hey, the Illegals must be working again - the grass around our building has been cut. Oh, and a big whopping THANK YOU to the illegal immigrants who decided to street race in Denver, causing an accident that killed one and injured six others. The extremely busy emergency workers really appreciate you wasting their time, and us hard working citizens (hey, I qualify now) are happy to pay the taxes to foot the bill for your hospital care and the salaries of the emergency workers. Will I be this sarcastic every time I see a stupid crime by illegal immigrants like this on the news? Maybe. OK, probably. I got yer cinco hangin'!

This is so freakin’ cool, if you’re not this woman at least. A woman in Mishawaka Indiana (I said Mishawaka) bought a fish sandwich at a restaurant, took the sandwich home, and then threw up blood and a double edged razor blade. SWEET! At least it wasn’t a finger. Derek can’t say meat is meat on this one.

Well, it’s a start. Nicole Richie admitted she is too thin and is starting treatment to gain weight.

"I know I'm too thin right now, so I wouldn't want any young girl looking at me and saying, 'That's what I want to look like,'" she said. "I do know that they will, which is another reason I really do need to do something about it," she says. "I'm not happy with the way I look right now. I get really stressed out, and I do lose my appetite, but I do force myself to eat. I tried to put the weight on my way, eating burritos, but that wasn't working, so I started seeing a nutritionist and a doctor."

Now if she could just do something about the fact that she’s a spoiled c*** we’d really be making progress!

5 comments:

Derek Knight said...

"treatment to gain weight?"

Taco Bell administers that sort of "treatment," I believe. So does White Castle, Sonic, the Black Eyed Pea...You know, wherever FOOD is served.

QUIT THROWIN" UP!

Sus said...

BEEKER!!!!! Did you ever see the Muppet finger puppets that Starbucks was seling about 3 winters ago? I have Beeker, Gonzo, Animal and the Swiss Chef.

by the way: MUCHO CONGRATS on getting a job!!

Pat Angello said...

Um, that would be the Swedish chef, but thanks for playing.

Derek Knight said...

but if you say it fast enough...

(as an aside, the word verification for this is "pzzsys." ha!)

Collin said...

Swiss... Swedes... can't we all just borgie-borg?

The razor woman should chew her food better.

Has Nicole considered wearing a fat suit for now? You know, to keep the kids normal.

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!