Sunday, April 09, 2006

Super GUH!

Chiroquacktor! Some flaky chiropractor claims he can treat people from, well, anywhere. Phone, fax, Internet – you name it, he can help. Whatever. James Burda of Ohio (hell no I won’t call him a doctor) has created a treatment called "Bahlaqeem."

"It is a made-up word and, to my knowledge, has no known meaning except for this intended purpose. It does, however, have a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters," Burda's Web site says. The Web site describes the treatment as "a long-distance healing service (not a product) to help increase the quality of your life that can be performed in the privacy of your home or other personal space. There is no need to come to my office." (Source: AP News)

Cuh-RAZY! He also claims he discovered this ability by accident when he told his aching foot to realign and the pain MaGiCalLy went away. OK, freak – show’s over! So, if you have some pain, go visit the idiot here:

Oh, to those 25 or so of you that hit this site daily searching on "beer pong" please find a life. OK, so I once made fun of it, found a picture of people playing it on Google images, and posted that pic on this here blog. But if you’re too stupid to figure out how to play it, or desperately need to see a picture of it, then I suppose there is really no hope for humanity. Thanks for the confirmation. Also, I’d love to take advantage of y’all by selling a beer pong kit, but somebody beat me to it. However, I can offer you this stupid thing:

Beer Pong T-shirt


Wow – I think that’s enough for now.


Collin said...

"bahlaqeem" sounds like ointment that you would rub on varicose veins.

I would also like to commend you on your interesting marketing strategy: Insult the searchers looking for info on beer pong and then, oh yeah, here's a shirt you might like by-the-way. Heh.

Hmmmm. The more I look at "bahlaqeem" the more it looks like it could have been a Google word verification.

Pat Angello said...

Ya know, I have a DEGREE in marketing!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!