Sunday, April 23, 2006

I'm SO Proud of Myself!


Because I went potty all by myself today! No, wait, that’s not it! I’ve been honored to represent the entire USA West in a Stanley Cup Roundtable discussion on CBC.ca! Yup, I was asked to join this panel:

On the panel we have: representing Canada West, Tyler Dellow of mc79hockey.com; representing Canada East, Chris McMurtry of Hockey Country; representing USA West, Patrick Angello of Colorado Avalanche Blog; and, representing USA East, David Lee of Red and Black Hockey.

Does this mean I am one of the two best hockey bloggers in the entire USA? Why, yes. Yes it does. Anyway, to check out the discussions, follow this link here: CBC Stanley Cup Roundtable. Damn – I rock, yo!

Also, don’t forget to get Freaky on Monday at the Bug Theatre. It’s Ashley’s last show, so no excuses for not attending! $5 gets you in, the beer is free, and you get to see some weird people get on stage and do bizarre things. Like, seriously bizarre! Hey, I may even get up there and do a lil’ sumpin–sumpin!

Sports weekend wrap up:

  • Avs – YAY!
  • Nuggets – BOO!
  • Rockies – Who cares?
  • Jagr – WAAHHH!!!
  • Hurricanes – WTF?
  • Duke LAX - $$$$$!

Celebrities are freaks. Like I’m telling you something you don’t know, but I would never want to be in their shoes. Brad and Angelina went all the way to Namibia to escape the lurking press in the US, and apparently there is a $5 MILLION offer for the first pic of Tom and Katie’s spawn, Suri. This is the same press that called TomKat (I love these stupid single names for celeb couples!) the most over-exposed couple of 2005. Do people really care about the kid these two had? And what kind of "religion" is Scientology if illegitimate kids are perfectly accepted? Someone call Chef and find out what the official ruling is on this issue.

No such thing as little green men? Scientist have recently proved that mars may have supported a microbe life form BARELY and about 3.5 billion years ago. So, if that’s the case, exactly who probed Uncle Bubba?

On the next COPS! A man in PA has been accused of lewd behavior for allegedly sending his neighbor a nude picture of himself and sending her messages saying he was naked in her yard – and he’s a deputy sheriff! Seriously, how stupid can you be? After some of the things my cousins have done, I’m thinking there’s something kinky in the PA water supply.

You don’t want to know, but I’ll tell you if you ask. Not here. I'll give you a HINT!

Was it a Sex Ed class? A couple of 8th graders in Alabama were expelled for showing a porno DVD in their class while their teacher was facing the other way and grading papers. It could be an educational film, I suppose. Maybe they were just trying to learn their cousins something?

Wha? A carpenter in California thought he should keep his clothes clean so he works naked. When his client came home early, handyman was arrested for indecent exposure. Um, what if the hammer slips? Eek!

Esther? Damn near KILLED her! A 76-year-old woman in San Antonio, Esther Gomez, has been arrested for selling black-tar heroin out of her home. Wow! Her grandkids thought she was the coolest grandma EVER!

Do you smell something? Utility workers in NC accidentally (I would hope) blasted 3000 gallons of raw sewage into a couple’s home. Bleh! Apparently this was a grease clog blast gone wrong. I’m thinking it’s just a late, great April Fool’s Day joke. NOT FUNNY!

Worst shot EVER! A man in Oregon tried to commit suicide with a nail gun, but he failed. However, he had 12 nails embedded into his head. If you REALLY want to kill yourself, but you’re too dumb to succeed, I think the government should step in and give you a lethal injection. Let’s call it controlled natural selection.

Walt? A man was found floating on a raft made from oil barrels and planks out in the waters between Denmark and Norway. He claimed he was thrown from a ship and wanted to go to NYC. Tony Soprano refused to comment.

At least he’s funny! Aristocrats god and Aflack spokesman, Gilbert Gottfried, has been voted the least sexy man alive. Mick Mars was PISSED!

Keep yer panties on! The University of Baylor has banned students from posing for Playboy in their upcoming "Women of the Big 12" issue. Meanwhile, the University of Colorado officials said, "Go for it! What’s it gonna do – taint our image? Too freakin’ late my friends!"

Why didn’t I think of that? A 76-year-old man in Miami went door-to-door offering free breast exams. Somehow, a few women actually fell for it!

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

So the old man offering a free breast exam at you door wasn’t something that made you suspicious to begin with? One woman said he looked official because he had a black doctor’s bag. I have a guitar, but that doesn’t make me Dave Mustaine.

5 comments:

Bill Purdy said...

Ya know, it's always great to have you back, and I was a-chucklin' like I always do while readin' your little bloggedy blog blog, when I clicked on that picture of Mick Mars.

Oh, dear lord, Mick Mars. He must have been disqualified from consideration for some reason (maybe he's an alien?). Gilbert Gottfried's freakin' Paul Newman next to that guy.

Welcome back, Patrick! And don't let that roundtable thingy go to your head (even if it makes you look like a bit of a genius).

Princess Katy said...

Some times I dance around the house in my underwear doesn't make me Madonna, never will.

DEJO said...

CBC.ca? What the hell do they know about hockey? ;-)

WHEY2 go Pat! I'm gonna have to give this a read.

P.S. Just give me a heads-up if you're ever going to be chatting with or meeting Don Cherry.

Derek Knight said...

You're...You're NOT Dave Mustaine?

YOU LIED TO ME!

Damn you!

Pat Angello said...

BP - Um, that comment was a little sarcastic, but I know I kick ass!

Princess - I don't want you to be Madonna, but I do enjoy when you dance around in yer undies! ;)

D to the Jo - Believe it or not, I used to live 1 block away from Don Cherry when he coached the Colorado Rockies in the 70's! He and my dad had plaid pants parties.

DK - I USED to be, but the system has failed. In other words, I haven't played a guitar for about 2 years now. When I was in college, I THOUGHT I was Dave Mustaine, but I didn't have the pretty red hair or the heroin problem.

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!