Sunday, March 12, 2006

2005 PAFC Awards!


Here we go again – it’s time for the 2nd annual PAFC Awards! Just combine the ESPY’s, Grammy’s, Emmy’s, Oscar’s and Razzies and you’ll see what I’m shooting for. And this year is even BETTER than last, as there are links galore! Pics, articles, reviews, video - you name it! BTW, these are purely based on personal opinion and experience – if you can’t believe I didn’t mention a certain movie, that’s because I probably didn’t see it. Want to comment and give your opinion? I welcome it! You can email me, or you can post them in the comments section for everyone to see. Oh, and my lovely and talented wifey KT assisted.

And now, for your amusement – it’s the 2005 PAFC Awards!

SPORTS

Baseball

Team of the Year – Houston Astros. I know, they didn’t win the title, but they did get the entire country behind them.

Manager of the Year – Ozzie Guillen, Chicago White Sox. He managed the most unassuming group of players to a title that nobody really cared about.

Player of the Year – Andruw Jones, Atlanta Braves. Why? Well, he was the only one to hit 50+ homers so there. Like I even care about baseball...

Most Influential Play of the Year – Remember the "bounced ball" when Chicago stole a game from Anaheim? Yeah, what the heck was that?

Idiot of the Year – Raphael Palmeiro, Baltimore Orioles. Please!

Basketball

Team of the Year – Phoenix Suns. They didn’t win it all, but they were simply awesome until they ran into San Antonio in the playoffs.

Coach of the Year – George Karl, Denver Nuggets. He made a group of idiots pay attention and become THE team to be scared of in the ladder half of the season.

Player of the Year – Dwayne Wade, Miami Heat. The guy was simply brilliant all season.

Most Influential Play of the Year – The Nuggets bringing in George Karl to lead the team. It totally turned them into the contenders they were SUPPOSED to be.

Idiot of the Year – Kevin Garnett, Minnesota Timberwolves. Quit yer whining and just play some ball.

Football

Team of the Year – Denver Broncos. Sorry, but NOBODY expected them to be playing for the AFC title.

Coach of the Year – Mike Holmgren. He finally got the monkey off his back in Seattle.

Player of the Year – Steve Smith, Carolina Panthers. He should have been the league MVP, and when Seattle took him out of the game in the playoffs, Carolina didn’t have a chance.

Most Influential Play of the Year – Ben Roethlisberger’s "touchdown" in the Super Bowl. Totally ruined the game!

Idiot of the Year – TO. Biggest idiot in ALL sports, hands down!

Hockey (We’ll just have to go with the first half of this season)

Team of the Year – Carolina Hurricanes. If you’re not watching them, you’re missing the most exciting team in the NHL.

Coach of the Year – Peter Laviolette, Carolina Hurricanes. Even though he couldn’t get Team USA to make any noise in the Olympics, the guy has certainly adapted his team to the new rules of the NHL.

Player of the Year – Jaromir Jagr. Leading the league in just about everything!

Most Influential Play of the Year – Have you seen the goal Alexander Ovechkin scored from his back? Un-effin-real!

Idiot of the Year – Todd Bertuzzi. Yep, still.

Miscellaneous Sports Moment of the Year - The return of the NHL. Though not enough people give a crap.

TV

Sitcom

Best Show – TIE: The Office & Arrested Development. Brilliant every damn week. I miss AD so badly it hurts! However, the Office literally makes KT and I sad when each episode ends. Jim and Pam are so amazing to watch!

Honorable Mention – My Name is Earl. This was supposed to flop, but it has been excellent almost every week.

Best Actor – Ethan Suplee. AKA, Earl’s brother Randy. He’s so damn perfect in that role and comes up with the greatest lines – simply the best character on TV.

Best Actress – Jaime Pressley. The white trash ex of Earl kills me every week.

Best Show That Was Cancelled Too Early – Book of Daniel. I can’t even begin to tell you how pissed off I was when this show was suddenly gone.

Worst Show – Two and a Half Men. How in the world is this show the number one comedy in the country?

Drama

Best Show – Invasion. I’m hooked, what can I say? KT is all about Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve watched it and don’t mind it, but I’m not all caught up in it like I am Invasion.

Honorable Mentions – Lost. Hasn’t quite lost its edge like Desperate Housewives has. Oh, and KT loves the OC. I usually write while it’s on.

Best Actor – Hugh Laurie. Dr. House is simply awesome every week. Could be the writers, but his character is fantastic.

Best Actress – Anna Belknap. Maybe I’m just really excited that little Sassy girl has been added to the cast of CSI: NY.

Late Night

Best Talk Show – Jimmy Kimmel Live. Yep, he beat out Conan. Sorry, but a ton of creativity goes into this show and Kimmel is one funny dude. Especially This Week in Unnecessary Censorship.

Worst Talk Show – Tonight Show with Jay Leno (5-TIMER). Any show where the only funny thing on it is provided by the viewers is appalling.

Best Talk Show Band – The Max Weinberg 7 (5-TIMER) from Conan O’Brien. There is simply no competition!

Best Talk Show Gag – The Superhero Olympics from Jimmy Kimmel Live (See films 7 & 8). I swear I was crying when Captain America tried to ski in a parking lot on fake snow – even woke KT up I was laughing so hard!

Miscellaneous

Have you forgotten about our Prime-Time Hotties and Prime-Time Hunks?

MUSIC

Punk Rock

Best CD of the Year – The Kills: No Wow. Absolutely awesome CD from a simple duo.

Honorable Mention: The Grates: The Ouch. The Touch. This group from Australia is tough to find in the US, but the 4-song EP is the best 10 minutes of music you will ever purchase!

Punk Pop

Best CD of the Year – Gogol Bordello: Gypsy Punks: Underdog World Strike. I think the name of the CD says it all, but for those of you that don’t get it, its Ukrainian gypsy punk music!

Honorable Mention – Louis XIV: The Best Little Secrets Are Kept. Raunchy and fun – a throwback to the classic punks.

Bluesy Prog-Rock

Best CD of the Year – The White Stripes: Get Behind Me Satan. Not a CD that I absolutely LOVED, but still good enough.

Honorable Mention – The Mars Volta: Frances the Mute. Mostly instrumental trippy music.

Hard Rock

Best CD of the Year – Queens of the Stone Age: Lullabies to Paralyze. This CD is incredible from beginning to end!

Honorable Mention – Sleater-Kinney: The Woods. I know I didn’t love them in concert, but I DID love them on CD.

Heavy Metal

Best CD of the Year – System of a Down: Mesmerize and Hypnotize. Both CDs that came out 8 months apart are excellent. These guys have reinvented heavy metal.

Other Stuff

Best Comedy CD of the Year – Richard Cheese: Aperitif for Destruction. RC is the new Weird Al.

Best Female Vocal CD of the Year – Tori Amos: The Beekeeper. She still slays me with that sultry voice of hers.

Best Unclassifiable CD of the Year – Matson Jones. Yep, the string quartet from Fort Collins Colorado is my new favorite band. I’m literally Jonesin’ for more!

A Slight Disappointment – The Residents: Animal Lover. Granted the second disc was solid, but the rest just didn’t do anything for me.

MOVIES

Drama

Best Movie of the Year – Walk the Line. Both Joaquin and Reese were incredible – especially when you realize they did their own singing as well as giving stellar performances.

Other Great Movies You Shouldn’t Miss – Crash. It made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

Worst Movie of the Year – Four Brothers. Hollywood, save your money!

Comedy

Best Movie of the Year – The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Steve Carell is simply a comic genius.

Other Great Movies You Shouldn’t Miss – Be Cool. Seriously!

Worst Movie of the Year – Miss Congeniality 2. OK, so I didn’t pay for it, but seeing it on HBO was the biggest waste of 90 minutes on a Sunday ever!

Romantic Comedy

Best Movie of the Year – Wedding Crashers. Yep, it turned into a chick flick, but it was actually a lot of fun. And seeing Isla Fisher naked didn’t hurt at all.

Other Great Movies You Shouldn’t MissUmmm... Yeah, I got nuthin'!

Worst Movie of the Year – Guess Who. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

Action/Suspense

Best Movie of the Year – Batman Begins. This really was well done.

Other Great Movies You Shouldn’t Miss – The Brothers Grimm. Actually a pretty fun film.

Worst Movie of the Year – Stealth. I have no idea why this film was made.

Horror/Monster

Best Movie of the Year – Saw II. OK, so it was a slow year.

Other Great Movies You Shouldn’t Miss – The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It wasn’t GREAT, and certainly wasn’t as scary as I had hoped, but I still enjoyed it enough to tell you to rent it.

Worst Movie of the Year – Hide and Seek. There’s a lot of competition in this category for worst movie, and this one really sucked it hard.

Animation

Best Movie of the Year – Sin City. OK, so it wasn’t EXACTLY animated, but I still loved the way it was filmed.

Other Great Movies You Shouldn’t Miss – The Corpse Bride. OK, so I haven’t seen it, but I really want to!

Worst Movie of the Year – Madagascar. Guh!

Miscellaneous

Best Movie of the Year That Nobody Really Liked But Me – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Probably because I’m a big Sam Rockwell fan.

Best Special Effects Movie of the Year – King Kong. OK, so the film sucked, but the effects were sweet.

Worst Idea For a Movie – The Ringer. Yeah, I saw that in a South Park episode years ago.

Most Over-Hyped Film – Brokeback Mountain. I know my wife liked it, but I didn’t – and it had nothing to do with the fact that the guys were gay. It was just not a great film in my opinion.

Just Get to the Point Film – Star Wars Episode III. We all know what happens; just make it so, Obi Wan!

Worst Trend – Remaking crappy films! War of the Worlds, Longest Yard, King Kong, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Herbie, Amityville, Bad News Bears, House of Wax, the Fog.

Even Worse TrendMeaningless sequels! Cheaper by the Dozen 2, the Ring Two, Miss Congeniality 2, Transporter 2, XXX: State of the Union, Beauty Shop.

Absolutely the WORST TrendTV shows, musicals, and video games becoming movies! Dukes of Hazzard, Rent, Doom, Bewitched, Aeon Flux.

Acting and Stuff

Best Actor – Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line). Again, he was fantastic!

Best Supporting Actor – The Rock (Be Cool). Honestly made me cry laughing.

Best Actress – Dakota Fanning (War of the Worlds, Hide and Seek). The only redeeming quality of these films is this youngster’s incredible ability. Now she needs to quit making crappy films! The Cat in the Hat anyone?

Best Supporting Actress – Thandie Newton (Crash). She was sincerely unbelievable!

Most Annoying Character Carl Denham (Jack Black) in King Kong. You can’t take him seriously – ever!

Best DirectorRobert Rodriguez (Sin City). Absolutely amazing film – honestly!

1 comment:

Bill Purdy said...

My take:

SPORTS
Baseball: who watches baseball?
Basketball: OMG, who watches basketball, for that matter?
Football: Broncos. 'Nuff said.
Hockey: Ah, hockey. GO CANES!

TV
The Office is amazing, and AD will be missed greatly. And I'm totally with you on Invasion... but are ours the only two households that watch it?

MUSIC
I already did this over at my blog. That was two months ago, and I can't even remember what was number one. Sufjan Stevens, maybe?

Oh, and Matson Jones is pretty classifiable in my book: indie chamber rock. How's that?

MOVIES
Haven't seen one in a year and a half (in a theater, anyway), and that streak's not looking like it'll end any time soon. Darned kid!

(I did see Walk the Line on a plane the other day: excellent biopic!)

BEST BLOG
Why, the Pat Angello Fan Club, of course!

OK. There you have it!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!