Thursday, February 23, 2006

It's OK to Love Your Pets...

The logical next step beyond homosexuality? OK, not really, but a girl DID marry a dog in India. The girl is only 7-years-old and she married the dog to ward off the "evil eye" on her family. Yeah, I’m not buying it either! It sounds like Dad may be into something kinky.

Just whack ‘em off! A female teacher is in trouble for castrating a live pig in front of her science class. I smell bacon! No, wait. It’s PETA:

"We're concerned not only because animals suffer during these routine castrations but also because of the message it sends to students who are still forming opinions about treatment of animals in our society," said Stephanie Bell, a PETA cruelty case worker.

So, the students didn’t have an issue, and the PARENTS didn’t have an issue, but the whiney PETA freaks did. I say WHO CARES? I wonder if my friend in Bakersfield has anything to say about this.

A man in Little Rock Arkansas (no, not THAT guy), has been arrested for stealing a sheep from the Little Rock Zoo. This immediately made me realize that Little Rock has the most boring zoo in the universe!

Rock you like a hurricane? A 16-year-old in Singapore wanted to be a rock star. In fact, he used to practice air guitar while jumping on his bed. That was until he jumped too hard and flew out his 3rd story window and plunged to his death. Dude, if you’re 16 and still jumping on your bed, you’ll never be a rock star. And now we know why.

Mmm – piggy poop! A tank containing liquid pig manure burst and sent 240,000 liters (OK, someone convert for me) into the streets of a small Bavarian village. Tourism is at an all-time low. Heck, I’d rather visit the Little Rock Zoo!

Mike "Crybaby" Modano skips US team meeting. OK, so if you know me, you know I love hockey. I’ve almost enjoyed being unemployed and getting to watch live Olympic games on USA and MSNBC. But I hate whiney players, and Mike Modano is crying like a baby. Apparently Team USA coach Paul Laviolette thought Mikey didn’t have enough jump in his legs and sat him for most of the third period against Finland. The US went into the period down by two, and ended up losing by a goal. Modano thinks he could have made the difference. I think he’s a bitch! That’s OK, Erik Cole and John-Michael Liles will lead this team back into the promised land in 2010 with some great young talent. Fortunately, Chris Chelios, Modano, Keith Tkachuk (0 points in the tournament!), and other whiners will be gone by then.

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Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!