Monday, February 13, 2006

I Love You


Well, some of you at least. But what better way to say it than with matching nose jobs? Yeah, some freaky couple in China thought it would be romantic to have dual, matching nose jobs for Valentine’s Day. Um, not to be TOO stereotypical, but do many people from China have large noses? I mean, I thought they were, for the most part, relatively flat? Not that it’s a bad thing to have a flat nose; I’m just wondering how much a plastic surgeon really has to work with. Am I digging myself into a hole that I can’t get out of?

Maybe!

Did I mention that I love Chinese people? In fact, I love ALL Asian people. Ya know, Vietnamese, Japanese, Mongolian, Bangladeshi, Indonesian, um, and the others.

Is that your elbow, or are you just happy to see me? A man in Michigan was shot by his buddy while hunting because his friend thought the man’s elbow was a squirrel. That is one hairy elbow – and with a tail and everything! Probably doesn’t taste as good as squirrel. We’re on a budget ya know! Don’t tell my wife, but that’s what I’m making her for dinner tonight – Squirrel Marsala!

OK, I’ll say it – the media is crap. Yep, the whole way the Dick Cheney hunting accident was covered was absolute crap. We all know it was an accident now, and that BOTH Cheney and his billionaire friend were at fault (the guy came up from behind and did not announce his presence, but Cheney ultimately is responsible for his weapon, though he never saw the guy until after he fired). However, watching Grey’s Anatomy last night and seeing the teaser at the bottom of the screen that said “VP Cheney shoots friend” IMPLIED that he basically took a friend out to the wood shed and murdered him, which isn’t even close to what happened.

I hate the media!

Oh, and I knew that bomb was gonna blow – I just KNEW it!

Welcome to Bolivia! Get the kids up, feed them some cocaine, and send them off to school! The foreign minister would like coca leaves to be a breakfast staple for the children of Bolivia. I’m thinking this is a devious plot to sell more Ritalin.

Wait! I just thought of something better than matching noses for Valentine’s Day! How about a poem for my lovey wife?

For the Love of Kathryn

Call it fate
Call it luck
Somehow you found me

I was alone
Fragile
Hopeful

You came to me
All aglow
It made me smile forever

When we saw each other
Again, soon afterward
I knew I was in deep

You will never know
How much you did
Without doing anything at all

No matter what
You are always there
Supporting me, encouraging me

It’s times like these
When I am so delicate
That I have no fear

Only because of you
I am whole
And I continue on

I have one wish
And it sounds small
But it’s as large as life

I just wish
That I could somehow be
Half of what you are to me

You are my everything
And on this day
I do all I can for you

You’ve saved me
Created me
Made me who I am today

Thank you for everything
For being more
Than I could have ever expected

The love we share
Is so implausible
I wish everyone could feel it

As long as you are with me
I am perfect
Because you made me that way

I love you more than soup!

OK, everyone – go hug the love of your life and have a happy day!

3 comments:

Derek Knight said...

hey, nice picture!

Princess Katy said...

Baby, I love YOU more than soup!! Happy Valentine's Day!!

PammyJean said...

If only I was that precise with my words.

You're wickedly lucky, both of you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!