Wednesday, January 11, 2006

PAFC Newsletter, 1/11/06

Where do I start?

It’s been a while since I’ve put together a simple newsletter, and there is SO much to get to!

First: Thank you all for your support as I look for a new gig. Not something I really wanted to do, but I appreciate everyone’s feedback and ideas!

Second: I finally added a new article to my music blog. Yeah, I still have it – I’ve just been saving it for the right band. Click HERE for a review of Morningwood! Um, the band pictured on the left there.

Third: I’ve also been adding a few things to the Screwball Comedy Blog. Check it out for some rips on the Red Sox, Cincy’s early Super Bowl Shuffle, Maurice Clarett, and Marcus Vick! Leave me some comments there!

Fourth: Watching Carmelo Anthony hit the game-winner with 2.9 seconds left in the 3rd overtime while nursing sore ribs and playing with a (most-likely) broken nose for the last 2 minutes was just amazing last night!

Now that we’ve gotten THAT out of the way...

Didn’t your mother tell you not to play with that? A man had to be rescued by the fire department when he got stuck in the washing machine while playing with his kids. OK, I’ve done some dumb and embarrassing things before, but wow! Fortunately, the AP is here to tell the world how stupid you can be!

Go ahead – make my day! A man was shot and killed when he broke into a home in California. Dude was out drinking and forgot which unit was his (another reason why I don’t drink – full knowledge over my unit). So, when his key wouldn’t work in what he thought was his home, he broke in. The man that lived there thought the intruder was a bad guy and shot him. The Terminator LOVED it!

Arizona drivers! A judge in AZ ruled that pregnant women cannot use the carpool lane – fetuses are not considered a second passenger. Have you ever been in the car with a woman from AZ? Scary stuff!

STOP PLAYING THAT SONG! A woman in Australia stabbed her boyfriend because he kept playing Elvis’ "Burning Love" song to celebrate the King’s birthday. OK, maybe if it were a song by the Carpenters I’d understand.

I’m gonna Smurf this motel! A man wore blue makeup to rob a motel in Alaska. Dude didn’t quite clean it all off and was busted by the cops when they noticed the blue behind his ears. Have I seen this guy before?

Creepy! A cat in Oregon was born with one eye. Right in the middle. Just like a Cyclops! So, he is named Cy.

I love third-world country cuisine! For instance, in Jakarta, you can get rat ball soup! Please do not confuse this with Chocolate Salty Balls or Schweatty balls.

Lemme see yer condom! A town in Columbia wants to require all citizens over the age of 14 to carry condoms at all times. This would theoretically lead to fewer pregnancies and less disease. However, many 13-year-olds would end up on Maury.

PLEASE tell me you clicked on that Maury link!

Ron Jeremy in public! The Adult Video News Awards were held (heh) on 1/7/06 in Vegas. This is the only award show that features a padded red carpet. ya know, just in case...

You’d think they would know better! A firemen’s party in Tokyo ended with the building ablaze. This was apparently a fire awareness function. I think everyone is aware now.

Ted Kennedy is writing a children’s book. Yep, you read that right! There is no official title yet, but I’m guessing it will be called something like "How to Kill Your Lover By Faking a Car Accident."

Britney worst dressed? Spears topped the worst dressed of ’05 list. Just in her (slight) defense, is it really fair to rip on how a woman dresses when she was pregnant for most of the year? Really? At least she wears clothes!

Oh, Mother, where art thou? Oh yeah, in the wardrobe decomposing! A man in Rome stashed his dead, mummified mother in his wardrobe and sealed it with silicone gel – for three years! Then he took her out for tanning. I hope this doesn’t become a trend, because, ya know, when in Rome.

Dumbest vandals ever? Some men broke into and vandalized a Mexican school in Mexico City, but decided to use the copy machine to make copies of their faces. Then they left the copies at the school. Brilliant!

Finally, I need to give it up to the Idle Receptionist. She is painfully watching the Bachelor simply for your amusement, oh and because a girl who used to work the makeup counter at her local mall is a contestant. Go check out her recap from show 1!


Bill Purdy said...

I love Chantal Claret. There. I've said it. Now I can go on with my life.

Two other observations:

1. That picture of the one-eyed cat disturbed me deep into my soul. I will dream about that poor freakish thing tonight.

2. I clicked on the Maury link. And what I saw and heard there disturbed me deep into my soul. I will dream about that poor freakish thing tonight.

Heather said...

I love cats but that picture scared the beleezus out of me!

Princess Katy said...

Luckily poor little Cy kitty died before he could become a media circus. He also had no nose, poor thing. Reminds me of an X-Files episode.

PammyJean said...

Okay, next time I think my cat's acting like a psycho freaky kitty, I'll remember that at east he's a HANDSOME psycho freaky kitty.

What part of Love Canal did you say that was in?

TheIdleReceptionist said...

As always, a scintillating post! Thanks for the link.

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!