So, bloggers around the globe are putting their best of ‘05’s together. Seemed like the thing to do…
January: I started off 2005 with my typical Top 11 of ’04 list. Yeah, I’m big on the Top 11 lists – something that has come from back in my Spooboy days. Then, out of the blue, Bill Cross threw together a Top 12 Ways Pat Angello is SO Water list. Because, ya know, I’m hot AND cool at the same time. So, um, I’m water. Of course this list made its way onto t-shirts at my Café Press store because it was simply brilliant. I then ripped the Broncos after another humiliating loss in the playoffs to Indy. I actually made some good points (refine the DL), but also called for Shanahan’s head. Oops! I also learned to NEVER go to a PG-13 movie on opening night in the ‘burbs. Stoopid kids! January also brought the first EVER PAFC Contest! After an odd post where I used the sentence: "I said _____" at the end of each paragraph, I asked people to take those "said" words and turn them into a sentence. I got some great entries and posted them all, with the winners on top. I was also very proud of my Top 11 CSI shows in the works and their respective theme songs by the Who list, which generated absolutely no comments. Meah!
February: Yeah, another Top 11 list reared its ugly head. This one was the Top 11 Rejected Names for Michelle Fox Lucas’ Baby Boy. She never returned from maternity leave and disappeared into God-knows-where Colorado. Should I feel responsible? I also felt like I needed to share with you one of the most disgusting bodily functions in my lifetime, but scared you more when I told you Lindsay Lohan had a Barbie Doll created in her image and Debbie Gibson was posing for Playboy. Even worse, I made enemies at work when I bitched about how there was a silent auction for "art" by kids from the age of 6-WEEKS-old and up. But I made up for it with my kick-ass e-pression of Jerry Seinfeld at the age of 5.
March: I started a column with a joke that made absolutely NO sense but made me laugh. It was the equivalent of:
Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do I look like – a radio?"
I used March Madness as an excuse to help you "Beat the Brackets." I didn’t do well. I then pulled out a classic Top 11 List on a post about great cover songs. Also, since I despise the award shows, I gave y’all the first EVER PAFC Awards! Unfortunately, in the ides of March we lost a great friend. We will always miss you, Smitty! Because I wasn’t really in the mood to write something funny for a while, I ran an old article about how the band Loverboy had influenced my life. Yeah, I know - creepy! By the end of March, I felt it was time for another PAFC contest! This one was a Top 11 List contest, and I got it started with the Top 11 Rejected Jolly Rancher Flavors.
April: In my birth month, I announced the winner of the Top 11 List contest and posted all entries. The winner had to be edited, but you can find it if you looked hard enough. Because reality TV scares the hell out of me, and it SHOULD scare you too, I gave everyone a preview of just what was in store for the summer. Just as scary, I actually reviewed Pamela Anderson’s show Stacked – and I didn’t even hate it! Finally, I had to reprint the story about the guy who resuscitated a chicken.
May: Ah, what a perfect month to make fun of a comedienne trying to play a retarded girl! I was also glowing from my first performance at the Bug Theatre for Freak Train. Because I’m a freak, I introduced you to the Residents. Ironically, today I saw a post with an old Residents DVD cover! I opened a second PAFC store, and even created one for my brother called the Tony Angello Appreciation Society. Also, the TO saga just began and I had to start my bitchin’. I went to the doctor for the first time in a LONG time, which was a bit odd. I also proudly promoted a book that my buddy Sam was published in.
June: What was wrong with me? I actually ENJOYED a reality TV show called Beauty and the Geek. I then tried to introduce you to goofy music like Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine, and incredibly different music like Colorado’s own Matson Jones. Because I’m easily entertained, I linked to some ridiculously funny little cartoons about the Teen Girl Squad. We finally sold our house and forced friends to help us move. Not sure if any of us enjoyed that really. The fiction blog was created, but never really got anywhere other than a story called Emily and a weird short story I posted to it.
July: This month is really about one thing and one thing only to my wife – Glendale fireworks! I heard that my niece chipped a tooth at camp, so I wrote her a story about my 5th grade bike accident. I reviewed War of the Worlds and posted my first picture EVER on the blog. The picture eventually generated about 100 hits per day on its own. Don’t even ask me why! I realized my posts were getting a little L O N G even though I did some good ranting. I finally decided to shorten them up a little. Then, it happened. Hockey returned! Life was, ya know, better! I even used that post to whine about the shows FOX had cancelled in the past, not knowing what was coming later. Because I love new and different music so much, I created my own music only blog. I know this sounds a little, ya know, gay, but I found a great barber – then he disappeared and broke my heart. But not like that. The month ended with a collision of hippies.
August: I can’t believe Raphael Palmiero lied about steroids! A fellow blogger gave me an idea. She thought my articles were interesting and that I should link to the stories I report on. So I did. As happy as I was about the return of hockey, the return of Todd Bertuzzi kinda pissed me off! And I can’t tell you how proud I was to be a Denverite when some dumbass tried to kill singer Marc Cohn. Guh! I pretty much did a train wreck post on Courtney Love and TO – gotta cover all bases. However, I felt TO later needed his own column. I also saw the funniest damn documentary ever – twice! I got really excited when Greg the Bunny returned, because it, ya know, rocks! This month also meant another Freak Train performance, that freakin’ rocked, and the Lost 80’s Tour! Then, I started another contest – the PAFC Football Pick ‘Em Contest recently won by DeJo.
September: This month will always mean 9/11 to me; also my mom and sister’s birthdays fall in September. Oh, and it means horrible pop singers performing a tribute to the victims of 9/11. As much fun as I was having with the weekly PAFC Football Pick ‘Em, I was frightened by the Fan Girls on the website we had to login to. But I did win a contest on the Fan radio station to go see Foreigner! The biggest highlight of September had to be our trip to NC to visit Bill, Beth and Logan. I also felt it was necessary to tell you what to watch on TV during the week: Monday & Tuesday, then Wednesday & Thursday, and finally the weekend.
October: This month means HOCKEY! I started another contest, the PAFC Fantasy Hockey contest on NHL.com. The first weekend was a little eventful, concluding with me on the floor for SOAD. Not recommended for those over, well, 22 years of age. The NEXT weekend was cool as KT and I got to go on the Mix Morning Show’s Live Audience Friday. Dom and Jane are a hoot. Heh! Even the announcement that Tom and Katie were preggo didn’t spoil the fun. If you click HERE, you will see arguably the funniest picture I have posted on this blog to date. Then, since it had been SO long, I thought it was time for another PAFC contest! This one was based on movie quotes and was won by Derek. He loved the t-shirt! The winning answers were posted here. I got to meet my hero, Bill Simmons, which was pretty cool. My dad then dressed up a little for his birthday, and I gave you some ideas on what NOT to be for Halloween. For some reason, I just kept posting sports articles. Musta been the excitement of hockey coming back. Just to satisfy the other cravings, I posted an article about one of my favorite 80’s metal bands – the Scorpions. Then, to scare the hell out of all of you, I posted pictures of me from a Halloween party. Eek!
November: I had finally returned to form – in NHL 2K6 that is. Just ask Bill. I also felt like I needed people to find me when searching for the Portia De Rossi Fan Club, so I posted an article called Primetime Hotties. Not to be overshadowed, my wife chimed in with Primetime Hunks. Then, out of the blue, the hippies found me! Because Bill and I were a little bored one afternoon, we collaborated on the Top 11 Satisfying Plot Twist Suggestions for Lost Writers. Enjoy! I then HAD to do a post about the pig Gary Glitter, as well as ripping New Jersey. It was almost too easy! And as excited as I was about hockey being back, I was a little disappointed in the presentation at the Pepsi Center. Was I getting my money’s worth? I even found time to make suggestions to replace that same old song by Glitter that is played after every score.
December: After seeing many people partaking in Half Nekkid Thursday, I tried to create Mammary Monday. However, I think mentioning men’s nipples in the guidelines scared people away. Because I’m an AVSFAN (seriously, you should see our license plates), I decided to start an Avs blog. Yep, I update it after every game. Also, I was approaching my 1-year BLOGGIVERSARY! That meant another contest! This one was a tie (Collin & Heather, and Bill). Winning answers were posted here. I had to post yet one more Top 11 List when I saw the product called the Swash. But that wasn’t the last, because some crazy lady said David Letterman was trying to brainwash her through her TV. So, I went and posted ANOTHER Top 11 List – even emailed it to him. While out shopping with my wife, I came across this car and had to pull out my camera phone. My Christmas was just perfect, and I shared it all in a brief post about how great everyone in my family, including my lovely wife, really is. Finally, what goes around comes around as I ended the year with my Top 11 of ’05 list.
Hope you enjoyed this!