Sunday, December 18, 2005

PAFC Newsletter, 12/18/05


And the 1-Year BLOGGIVERSARY Contest winner is...

Well, let’s call it a tie. I know I said I’d pull a name out of a hat, but I felt like these two entrants did enough research that they both deserved it. Besides, it’s Christmas and I’m feeling generous and sappy. So, congratulations to 1) Collin and Heather & 2) Bill Purdy! Your CD’s are on the way! Because their answers were so thorough, interesting, and well thought out, I thought I’d post them both. Hey, this will also tell YOU the answers!

Heather and I working together came up with these answers. I will fight to the death the correctness of number 1! TO THE DEATH I SAY!

1. Other than the fact that they are retired African-American football players, what do Riley Odoms and Alan Page have in common?

A: They were both first round draft picks. Riley Odoms in 1972 at number 5 and Alan Page in 1967 as number 15. (Also accepted, they both wore the number 88)

2. What brand of guitar does Dave Mustaine play?

A: Initially a modified Randy Rhoads series King V with 24 frets; he later switched to ESP. (Also accepted, Jackson)

3. Who scored the last goal ever on Patrick Roy?

A: Andrew Brunette

4. What was the first sentence I wrote on this blog?

A: "I hate Martha Stewart."

5. On my music blog, who did I say is going to be the next big band from Colorado?

A: Matson Jones.

6. Name 5 albums by Devo.

A: The albums I've owned are "Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!", "Duty Now for the Future", "New Traditionalists", "Shout", "Total Devo", plus "Greatest Hits and Misses".

7. What was Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf’s original name?

A: Chris Wayne Jackson.

8. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

A: Spongebob Squarepants

9. What did I dress as for Halloween this year?

A: Harry Caray to the power of 3.

10. Who wore #82 for the Broncos from 1975-79?

A: Jack Dolbin

Collin & Heather

1. Other than the fact that they are retired African-American football players, what do Riley Odoms and Alan Page have in common? They have several things in common. I'm not sure which one you're looking for. Here's what I know: Both men ARE, indeed, African-American. But, by virtue of his long-time residency in Minnesota, Page is legally one-sixteenth Norwegian, but there's no way to tell by looking at him -- it's just an honorary thing. Both also suffer from exopthalmia, a condition that causes the eyeballs to appear as if they are "popping out" of the face. Odoms, in fact, had pioneering surgery in Buenos Aires several years ago to correct his exopthalmia and now answers to the nickname "Squinty." Neither Alan Page nor Riley Odoms are commemorated on the Broncos Ring of Fame. Clarence Kay proferred a tribute to both players when he donned the sacred number 88 on his jersey (notably, '88 was the year Page was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame). Now, Jeb Putzier carries that burden, the poor bastard. Finally, if you rearrange the letters in the names "Alan Page" and "Riley Odoms," you get "Gay Emerald Loin Soap." Not quite sure if that's significant, but there it is.

2. What brand of guitar does Dave Mustaine play?

Electric (I had to look that one up)*

3. Who scored the last goal ever on Patrick Roy?

Andrew Brunette, in OT, the prick. Wait, isn't he an Av now? Never mind.

4. What was the first sentence I wrote on this blog?

"I hate Martha Stewart." Don't we all.

5. On my music blog, who did I say is going to be the next big band from Colorado?

Matson Jones. I was gonna guess "Thieves Like Us," but they're not really from Colorado -- just Andy. Then I thought Mission 19, but that didn't make any sense.

6. Name 5 albums by Devo.

Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! I know! Pick me!

- Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!

- Duty Now For The Future

- Freedom Of Choice

- New Traditionalists

- Oh No! It's Devo!

(I did that off the top of my head, so please excuse any punctuation errors.)

7. What was Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf’s original name?

Chris "Wiggles" Jackson

8. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Spongebob Squarepants, duh.

9. What did I dress as for Halloween this year?

Let me try to spell it out mathematically for you: Harry Carey * Hara-Kiri

* Hairy Carrie = HC^3

10. Who wore #82 for the Broncos from 1975-79?

Jack Dolbin. And, I am proud to say, he, too, is a Demon Deacon! Go Deacs!

* A little more research tells me folks are selling an ESP DV8-R that looks like the kind of guitar Dave Mustaine might play, being electric and all. And he's endorsed some sort of guitar for ESP called an Axxion that also looks appropriately Mustaine-y, all pointy and black and vaguely evil-looking and stuff. I suspect, though, he plays many different brands of guitars -- whatever’s available -- whenever the mood strikes him to play some of that good ol' honkey tonk he's so famous for.

bp

I am so proud! Also, I have to wonder a little about DeJo for turning in an entry at 11:23PM on a Friday night. Seriously, if you have nothing better to do on a Friday night than enter my blog contest, we need to talk.

Since I’m talking about blogs, I’ve just bitten off even more! As you can see on the right of my blog, I have linked to MANY NHL and NFL blogs. They are mostly part of a site called Most Valuable Network. However, when I went on this site, I noticed that they were short 4 NHL teams and they hadn’t updated the "comedy" blog for 3 months. So, I contacted them, and now I’m posting there too! You can check out my very first sports comedy entry here: MVN Screwball. Bookmark it and visit often. Also, tell all you friends how cool it is. Heck, link to it on you blog. Get it moving, yo! Speaking of sports comedy, the Nuggets lost to Atlanta today. GUH! I’ll be adding some hockey blogs for them later – will keep you posted. If you’re dying for more hockey blogs, check out my Avs blog.

Are you ready for a brief newsletter? Well, boy howdy so am I!

Hermie is dead. This turtle was just 2 years old and couldn’t keep his beak closed. An experimental procedure attached a metal device to his mouth so he could eat, but he died of a pre-existing condition that caused his kidneys to fail. Sadly, the metal-mouthed turtle is dead. I'm glad we're spending money to keep a slack-jawed turtle alive. I think I went to high school with this guy.

A two-ton metal sculpture was stolen in London. The $5.2 (remember, million is always implied in art pieces – and minimum wage for MLB pitchers!) bronze Henry Moore sculpture was lifted with a crane onto a flatbed truck and whisked away. Something tells me it’s gonna show up at a pawn shop near Buckingham Palace next week. Hey, Prince William has, like, 18 hottie chicks to keep happy. What’s a guy to do?

40 drunks dressed in Santa suits went on a rampage in New Zealand. Seems everyone wants to disgrace poor St. Nick! These bad Santas robbed stores and assaulted security guards (who doesn’t?). Dumb Kiwis need to learn, hurricane first, THEN pillage the town!

More to come later!

3 comments:

Bill Purdy said...

Ahhhh... bliss. I've missed Patrick these last couple of days. I'll admit it.

Got my jones, got my CDs, I'm hittin the road... HOTlanta! here I come!

Collin said...

Well, fantastic! We look forward to listening to them. Thanks!

TheIdleReceptionist said...

I think we all went to school with that guy.

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!