Sunday, November 27, 2005

PAFC Newsletter, 11/27/05


Aw, do I hafta go back to work?

We had a great 4-day weekend, and I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving as well. So, just for the heck of it, here’s a top 11 for you!

Top 11 Things I am Grateful For (other than the obvious – wife, family, job, dog, friends, Bob Lob Law...)

11) It is not baseball season.

10) TO lost his appeal

9) Hockey is BACK!

8) Paris Hilton’s kinkajou attacked her plastic face

7) Leftover turkey

6) Ron Dayne

5) My dominance over Purdy at NHL2K6

4) Freak Train (although I will not be performing tonight)

3) Online bill pay

2) The Hives

1) Blogging

Fortunately, we avoided the freaky shoppers on Friday. Here’s a good reason! A man in Florida cut in front of a bunch of customers at Wal-Mart to get a screamin’ deal on a laptop. Security guards wrestled the man to the ground and then started throwing laptops in the air. Mayhem broke out and it solidified yet ANOTHER reason why I will never, ever, EVER shop at Wal-Mart again, aside from the obvious reasons.

I used to love Legos when I was a kid. And that was even before they were all cool and themed and stuff – I thought a window was sweet! Now, they are all funky and have Star Wars sets, etc. I guess that’s why this guy in Portland stole $200K worth of Lego sets. WTF? Maybe he’s starting a web site?

Speaking of stealing stupid items, what would you do with a 30’ light pole? Some thieves in Baltimore are literally uprooting light poles and taking them to, uh, I have no idea. I guess this just proves that people in Baltimore will steal ANYTHING!

Everyone loves a freak show! OK, maybe not EVERYONE. Actually, there is a museum full of odd people from the circus, and it’s about to close. So, if you want to see Wanda the Worm Woman, Mickey the Mumbling Midget, or Benny the Bouncing Bump, you better hurry!

Like we care! A woman filling her church’s van with gas was robbed at knifepoint in Indiana. When she ran to the store clerk to use the phone to call 911, the clerk told her to use her cell phone and refused to let her use the phone at the gas station. Sounds like a good reason to boycott Citgo gas to me!

Good LORD! People are flocking (because they are sheep ya know!) to a stature of the Virgin Mary in Sacramento because she is "crying." Right. There’s no way that could be a scam. People believe that she is crying because a disaster is right around the corner. Maybe W. placed an order for another hurricane to kill poor people?

OK, I’m watching SportsCenter and I’m shocked at how crappy it’s getting. 1) Football poetry jam; 2) Sean Salisbury using the word "ty-izzle" to describe Ladanian Tomlinson; 3) they complain about the showboating, but pretty much all they show are stupid TD dances; "I Love Twins" football song with changed lyrics each week - STILL!!! ESPN is getting way too big for their britches.

A Catholic high school teacher was fired in NY because she is pregnant and not married. Oh, because some priests are such great role models? Sorry, but I’m not buying the "Catholic Morality" speech right now.

Tom Cruise bought a sonogram machine. Yeah, drop that story to the press after asking that everyone respect your privacy. Something tells me the birth will be on pay-per-view with all proceeds going to Scientology.

2 comments:

Bill Purdy said...

I, too, am thankful for Ron Dayne. And, as long as we are on the subject, Eric FREAKING Staal, Erik ("with a K") Cole, Justin Williams, and the rest of the overachieving Carolina Hurricanes. Also, for Yuengling, Fat Tire, and a good glass of port. Can't forget Pat's Bloggedy Blog Blog, the Bitter Buffalo CD Club (inexplicably on hiatus, hopefully to be resurrected soon), and every darned product Google has ever introduced (with the possible exception of Google Web Accelerator, which I don't think works as advertised). Don't forget Cat's Cradle, Local 506, and Coachella. I am extremely thankful Pat hasn't yet fully mastered NHL2K Pro Control, because I clearly haven't yet mastered NHL2K Weenie Control. Above all, though, I am thankful for Beth and Logan, who have given me more happiness and satisfaction in the last year than anything, ever.

Collin said...

I read that the Lego thief had stolen $600K worth since 2002. That's at least twice what I've paid for my son's Legos in the last 12 years.
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Maybe the Virgin Mary statue was crying because Arrested Development was cancelled?
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I hope Tom's kid comes out pissed off. Perhaps it'll learn how to flip them off before long. Perhaps they're starting a real life Truman Show...

'Walters then asked him, "So what do you see?" and he answered "I see body thetans."'

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!