Monday, November 14, 2005

Don't Get Me Started!

OK, so Bill got me started.

I told him I needed to put together a new Top 11 List. He made a suggestion, and gave me three to work from, then he logged off. Well, I couldn’t just let it sit there so…

Top 11 Satisfying Plot Twist Suggestions for Lost Writers

11. Pan back from the hatch to reveal a poorly constructed house sitting alone on an Orange County Hillside. Cue banjo music and Ron Howard.

10. In riveting flashback, Ana Lucia pitches an idea to a studio executive. "What do you call it?" he asks. "The Aristocrats!" Ana Lucia exclaims!

9. Reveal horrible secret held by Boone and Shannon: They swapped mommies!

8. The numbers actually refer to how many chicken wings Hurley can consume in one sitting, dating back to age 5 and increasing in intervals of 5 years.

7. Kate sets up a Sexy Singles Hotline with two paper cups and a long vine, if ya know what I mean.

6. Charlie kicks the drug habit, finds Jesus, and starts preaching like Reverend Brown.

5. Jin-Soo finally reveals that he really can speak English. However, he drones on about the history of Sumo wrestling and gets irate when people don’t get his references to “famous” wrestlers of the past and Vaudevillian actors.

4. Sayid returns to camp in just his tighty-whities and blood on his hands. Charlie thinks it’s the second coming and starts searching for his stash.

3. Locke starts drinking his own urine. (Wait, I think this is already happening!)

2. In a flashback, Jack sees his parents die in a car crash and wonders why HE now has to be the one to take care of Bailey, Julia, Claudia and Owen.

1. The Others are revealed – as the Junk Yard Gang playing a never-ending game of buck-buck.


Bill Purdy said...

No comments? Not a single one in 24 hours?

This is some fine comedy, people! Pathetic.

I guess none of you watch Lost. And I'll bet none of you watch Arrested Development, either. For shame. For shame.

Pat Angello said...

Sometimes these are just for us, Purdy!

Pat Angello said...

For the record, KT loved the Party of 5 reference

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!