Monday, October 24, 2005

PAFC Newsletter, 10/24/05

Ah, nothing like a gathering of the Angello family! Good food, lots of jokes, Dad dressed like Superman. We got together to celebrate my dad and sister-in-law’s birthdays this weekend. Michele dressed normally, but Dad was in this garb on your left as we walked in the door. (For the record, I think those red boxers are older than me - just a rumor!) He bought the sweatshirt that morning, and then went out with my mom to “complete” the ensemble. And you wonder where I get my sense of oddness. I’m thinking BOTH trees dropped this apple – on his head, and I have the bump to prove it. You can touch it for $3.00 per poke. KT asked me to dress like that for Halloween, to which I replied, “In your dreams!” Actually, I’ve got my Halloween costume ALMOST ready. No hints, unless I already told you. However, I will post pics next week. It is brilliant, if I do say so myself. Something I’ve wanted to do for years.

Just for fun, here’s a Top 11 list!

Top 11 Rejected Halloween Costumes:

11) Otter Pop

10) Cowboy

9) Raggedy Andy Doll

8) God’s Gift to Women (BARELY rejected!)

7) Chick Magnet (SO last year!)

6) Dave Mustaine

5) Sock Monkey

4) Patrick (from Sponge Bob)

3) Devo (Target was sold out)

2) Lip-Synching Ashlee Simpson (kinda like a bad kung-fu movie)

1) Kevin Federline

Yeah, I got something to say about the Broncos’ collapse this weekend. First, I believe it was the first time they’ve lost during a PEO-BIL Bronco party. PEO would be the women’s group that my wife is the president of, and BIL would be the significant others of said women’s group members. Once a year, the ladies pour chili down the throats of their husbands during a party when the Broncs are out of town. Usually, a “gimme” road game is selected, but I see none on the schedule this year. Secondly, I saw this coming a mile away. I just KNEW they would blow it at the end of the game, even before the game started. Somehow, Eli Manning turned into John Elway in the 4th quarter, connecting for 2 touchdown drives to win by one single point.

There was Meadow Lands Magic that day: weird calls by the officials; a Bronco field goal attempt that started out straight and then took a right; a suddenly conservative Bronco offense. I’m tagging this Elway Karma. Face it, kids; we were SPOILED ROTTEN during the Elway Era. We had no idea what it felt like to be on the receiving end of a fourth-quarter comeback (other than Joe Montana’s when he was with the Chiefs). Elway left a sour taste in the mouths of so many teams, yet we got to jump up and down and scream with glee. Hurts, don’t it?

I listened to the blabber of sports-talk radio on the way in to work today. All I heard was whining about bad officiating, an old-out-of-his-prime kicker, and a team that couldn’t move the ball when they really needed to. All the crying and finger pointing made me feel like I was living in Nebraska again!

So is this the same old Broncos? 5-2 just like the last 2 seasons, but does that mean the sub-.500 collapse is coming for the rest of the season? I say no! I believe in this team this year. Heck – they fell 1 second short of a record for most consecutive games without a turnover, fumbling while desperately trying to pitch a ball on the last kick of the game – hoping for a Cal miracle. Also, they can certainly beat the rest of the teams they play at home (PHI, NYJ, BAL, OAK), and there is no reason why they can’t steal a few road games (OAK, DAL, KC, BUF, SD). 8-0 at home, 3-5 or 4-4 on the road will win the division. SD and KC have MUCH harder road games than the Broncos, so I believe! Not that they’re going to the Super Bowl, but they just might win a playoff game yet.

At a recent Paul McCartney concert, one of the fans held up a sign asking Paul for his approval to propose to his girlfriend. McCartney read the sign aloud, and then told the kid to go for it. She said yes – aw! Not sure why this is newsworthy. However, if you paid $600 to see Paul McCartney, he better answer any question you may have!

I never want to be rich, famous and flamboyant. Rapper Cam’ron (puh-lease!) was carjacked this weekend. Probably because he was driving around the ‘hood in a Lamborghini. Go figure! When Cam’ron stopped at a light, a man approached with a gun. The rapper tried to drive off and was shot through both arms. Driving a car like that in Harlem is like a lingerie model walking through a Star Wars convention. Um, people want a piece of it.

Pork – the other white meat, now with extra lead! A woman in FL found a bullet in her pork casserole. Maybe the pig used to drive a Lamborghini? Used to!

Police investigating a motorcycle crash in Mexico believe that the piggyback passenger was already dead. For some reason, the driver was carrying a corpse. Al Roker knows all too well the feeling of carrying dead weight around. At least the corpse was wearing a helmet.

Why does it suck to live in 3rd world countries? Because even when you HAVE a “toilet,” there could be a snake in it! That was the case in Malaysia this week where a family found an 8-foot python in their toilet. That’s a little freaky to me!

There’s a hot new calendar at the University of Illinois! All of the smarties got together to create a calendar featuring their own brain scans. Hey, why not show off their best features? So far they’ve sold 4 copies.

Reason #318 why baseball players are a bunch of poozies! The latest “Got Milk” ad features a baseball player getting tossed for using a “performance enhancing substance.” Authorities find a carton of milk in the player’s locker. Now MLB is crying about it. “Steroid use is a serious issue!” Bob Lob Law! It’s a parody – we get it, now get over yourself!

Be afraid – be VERY afraid! A Christian group in California (SURPRISE!) wants to “set up a Christian nation within the United States where abortion is illegal, gay marriage is banned, schools cannot teach evolution, children can pray to Jesus in public schools and the Ten Commandments are posted publicly.” OK, it’s no longer 1860. We have this cool thing called “science” now, and this “science” helps us learn about what really happened way back when. We no longer need to rely on some mythical story told by ancient ancestors, because now we actually know how people evolved! Oh, and Jesus probably wasn’t a white guy – just betting the odds here. I don’t think he was a pot smoking Rastafarian either, but people in Israel aren’t very light in skin tone. However, that Ten Commandments thing couldn’t hurt…


Bill Purdy said...

I think the guy in the Jesus picture is Cam'ron. Seriously. Looks like he's been shot through both hands...

dejo said...

Re: lip-synching Ashlee Simpson

The department I worked for at Chevron in Calgary had the best Christmas parties of the entire company. There was always interesting party games and such (paper-bag puppets, guess the profiles, guess the baby picture). One year we decided to have a lip-sync contest. So, this being the early 90s and all, I decided it would only be appropriate to lip-sync to... to... that's right, Milli Vanilli!

I hornswaggled a co-worker to be the Vanilli to my Milli (which seems right, since his dance skills were rather vanilli), we managed to track down the sole VHS of MV videos in the entire town, got together one night to put together our costumes (black wigs, black jackets w/ t-shirts under, black tights, black shoes w/ ankle socks) and some kind of dance choreography (you try naming those moves).

The performance was a big hit, as were the other performances: two of the managers doing "Working In A Coalmine", one couple doing some Jimmy Durante duet, and (Pat, you'll love this) one male co-worker dressed up as Cher with a Sonny Bono puppet singing "I Got You Babe". General hilarity throughout!

But probably the funniest moment I remember that night was when Cher and Vanilli and I were all in the men's room getting our costumes on; Cher putting on her lipstick, Vanilli and I getting our long black wigs on. Another co-worker came in to use the facilities, just stopped in his tracks upon seeing us, stood there for a second, and then said "Hmm, I don't think I got the right room" and walked right back out.

Collin said...

I'm not touching your bump Pat. No matter how attractive the price may be.

The puppets were very amusing. Still sucks that it's on a Monday.

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!