Sunday, September 11, 2005

PAFC Newsletter, 9/11/05

I know this is mean! But, when a radio station has a contest for models and they select women that look like this, I just find it comical! I’ve seen better looking women at a software convention. Go ahead – call me shallow. Then go look at the chickies on the web site and try to argue with me! I guess I just expected models to not be average looking – especially when they are hand-selected!

Was it worth it? Nothing like a little insurance fraud – like $9 million worth! A couple in NC purposely destroyed their crops and blamed Mother Nature. Father Karma caught up to them and now they have to pay back the dough and spend 4 years with Uncle Murderer in jail.

Check out the new hot college chick! Humboldt State’s new female review kicks off with 93-year-old Marion Koffords. She the most eligible freshman and all the sororities want her in their flock! The guys dig the blue hair, and are swooning over her mothball scent. Rumor has it she’s available, and likes to eat dinner before 3:45.

So, I guess it really does kill brain cells! A man in MI reported his safe as stolen. When it was recovered, police found 200 pounds of pot in it. It ain’t exactly jewels, but it’s gotta be worth something!

This is why my wife won’t let me get a pet monkey! A pet monkey escaped its home, chased a 12-year-old boy into a house, and then bit the boy on the butt! Now my wife will have nightmares of a monkey chasing her! His name is Chompy!

Prostitutes can get a little cranky! This ol’ ho got mad when a new civic leader, God forbid, started cleaning up the neighborhood and attracting new people. Why, that means it’s harder to hook and make drug deals! How DARE he make that place worth living in! It was hurting her “business” (isn’t that illegal?) so she burnt his house down. Even though she had 83 prior convictions for prostitution, drugs, robbery and bail jumping, she has NEVER BEEN TO JAIL! Now she gets 30 years for arson. With 83 prior convictions she’s still walking the streets – literally. What a lovely judicial system we have!

CSI is a cool show – especially if you are a criminal! Looks like the SMART criminals are using what NOT to do by watching CSI. This reminds me of how local news channels like to go in-depth about how people can break into your house or car. They really think they’re doing you a favor so you’re prepared. But if you miss it and the bad guys see it, well then its “thanks for the tip” for the wrong people!

I was originally picking the Broncos to go 8-8 this year, but, after today, I think that’s optimistic! 4-12? I can also tell it’s gonna be a long year for me on the Pick ‘Em! Anyway, I will post the group standings on Tuesday. For now, it’s off to see Foreigner!


Bill Purdy said...

I have a funny feeling that with this audience anyway, the line "I’ve seen better looking women at a software convention" might inspire responses just a tad stronger than "Pat, you're so shallow." Good luck handling the backlash.

You're right, though. "Sadie" is a sow.

Pat Angello said...

I knew it would, as if anyone will actually read and respond to it...

Collin said...

Have you ever heard the phrase, "You have a great face for radio"?
It figures that the cops can find a stolen safe crammed full of pot, but they can't find my computer or VCR. Maybe if I said there was porn on the computer they would have tried harder.
Heather and I are going to the Broncos game next weekend. Hopefully it will end better.

Nichelle said...

Akkk! She looks a soccer mom and probably drives a minivan and lives in the suburbs! Her husband probably didnt even know she did it!!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!