Tuesday, July 19, 2005

PAFC Newsletter, 7/19/05

Don't forget - Pat Angello will be performing at the Bug Theatre on Monday, 7/25 for Freak Train! Oh, I'll be gettin' a little freaky!

OK, one day was more than enough, and two days now is REALLY pissing me off! Some #^$%& anti-abortion idiots are protesting by putting banners and pictures of aborted fetuses on bridges along I-25 on my (and millions of other's) way to work. You know what? I don't want to see that at 7:30am. In fact, I don't want to see that ever! Does this disgusting tactic even work? I want statistics - facts - proof! Someone provide me with documentation that shows how many pro-choice people actually changed his or her mind after seeing this display. Why don't these people target their audience? All they are doing is slowing down traffic, causing accidents, making everyone late for work, and putting the entire city of Denver in a foul mood! Said displays are only illegal if they hang a banner on the fence attached to the bridge, or hold the banners against the fences. However, standing only 6" away and holding these banners by hand is perfectly legal. Why? They are still a hazard to people trying to drive to work! Don't these extremists have REAL jobs? A coworker had to drive past anti-abortion protesters in her own neighborhood with her two young children in her car. Is this really something they think is appropriate for kids to be subjected to? I swear, one more day and I'm getting off the highway, driving up to that bridge, and beating the crap out of these people!

Since I'm all fired up, why is it that any black woman that sings is automatically crowned with "diva" status? OK, so I've never heard of Ciara. In fact, I thought she was a new erectile dysfunction drug when I saw her name. But, apparently, she is the world's latest "diva." Whatever! I think these people need to prove themselves a little before they are distinguished as a diva. Maybe have, you know, more than ONE record out? Wait, I forgot. We're Americans! We have to destroy and over-hype everything we see!

Who wants to go get the mail? A man in Vietnam was arrested for attempting to mail a human skull to a relative in the US. Now what am I gonna get Uncle Hiroto for his birthday?

A man in Australia got in an argument after seeing the movie Sin City. I guess the other guy didn't like, they fought, and he bit the other guy's nose off! See? There's nothing wrong with gratuitous violence in the cinema!

A 22-month-old child in IN has had her identity stolen TWICE already. LaShonda Terry's daughter, Jabriona (hey, I'm not saying anything - I'm just reporting!) has a cell phone bill, but it's only because a family friend used the child's social security number to steal her identity. Ah, the ghetto!

I can't believe that a woman with 80 lawn gnomes in CO is making national news when her little statues disappeared. There's no "mystery" here - people ALWAYS take lawn gnomes, snap funky pics with them, and then return the little dudes with a copy of the pictures! Hello? This is as old a tradition as hot dogs on the 4th!

Mmm - hot dogs!

Yay - oops! A spectator cheering on riders in the Tour de France accidentally punched a rider in the face when he jumped for joy. Andrey Kashechkin suffered a bloody nose, but only stopped briefly for medical attention and then got right back on that bike! I think he's a former hockey player.

Don't upset the mob! The mob in Malaysia firebombed a religious sect that believes a giant teapot has healing powers. Yeah, a giant teapot has healing powers. Does this teapot contain Kool-Aide? I don't think people can make fun of Mormons anymore. The elderly man that runs this sect believes he is God and the owner of everything. You don't own me (snap!)!

Lil' Kim is suing one of the witnesses from her perjury trial. Uh, too late! Again, when you screw up it's NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT! Take some responsibility for ONCE!

Pitcher Kenny Rogers, who is appealing his fine and suspension with MLB for beating up two cameramen, just went after ANOTHER cameraman. That ought to help the appeal! "No, really - I've learned my lesson!" What is it with this guy and cameramen? This is like a bad horror movie where seeing a red car or something sets off the killer!

OK, I'm never getting on a plane again. Forget the terrorists; I'm more concerned with the pilots! 40 pilots in CA have been indicted for falsifying medical records to hide disabilities such as schizophrenia, drug and alcohol addictions, and severe heart problems that would have kept them from flying. However, they were still able to receive disability payments. Hey, it's the best of both worlds, unless you're a passenger!

3 comments:

Heather said...

That's the problem with those extremists...they think everyone has a right to THEIR opinion. I don't need them holding up signs, telling me what to think or do! Bah!

Hell, a skull is something I would get my brother for his birthday. Luckilly he lives in town so I wouldn't be arrested.

A tea pot...*sigh*...you've cheered me up with that one! :)

Pat Angello said...

I honestly don't care if I agree or disagree with their cause - they cause accidents and slow traffic!

All hail the magic teapot!

Bill Purdy said...

Does anyone here know how much time I have to shop for Katy's next birfday present?

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!