Sunday, January 23, 2005

PAFC Newsletter 1/23/05

OK, so CSI gets their theme songs from the Who:

CSI = Who Are You?
CSI: Miami = Won’t Get Fooled Again
CSI: NY = Baba O’Riley

So, since I haven’t done one of these since the ol’ Spooboy days, here’s an ALL NEW Top 11 List for ya!

Top 11 CSI shows in the works and their respective theme songs by the Who!

11) CSI: Des Moines = My Generation
10) CSI: Bangor = The Ox
9) CSI: Phoenix = Boris The Spider
8) CSI: Boston = Heinz Baked Beans
7) CSI: Cheyenne = I Can See For Miles
6) CSI: Chicago = A Legal Matter
5) CSI: New Orleans = Bargain
4) CSI: Atlantic City = You Better You Bet
3) CSI: Los Angeles = Another Tricky Day
2) CSI: San Francisco = Happy Jack
1) CSI: Boulder = Magic Bus

Another reason to be proud about being from Colorado – the guy in Littleton who had a nail embedded in his skull for 6 days and didn’t know it! Yep, Patrick (shut up!) Lawler had a nail gun backfire on him. One nail went into a piece of wood and another went into his skull. So after six days of blurred vision and a toothache, he finally went to the dentist. The thing went 1.5 inches into his brain and just missed his eye. Brain – right! Somehow he’s going to be OK. What ever happened to natural selection? He isn’t even the first person admitted into the same hospital without knowing this same injury!

I’m starting to hate sports bars. I went to one last week with some buds while my wife was at a book club meeting. First of all, there is no such thing as a non-smoking section. There’s merely a smoke stench section and a smoke blowing right in your face section. Either way, you stink when you get home. Then there’s the crappy food. How do you screw up a grilled chicken sandwich, and why is my salad (instead of fries, thank you Morgan Spurlock) on the same hot dish the sandwich is on? Who wants to eat a warm salad? Guh! As if the atmosphere isn’t enough to tick me off, they pulled a huge bonehead move. On the biggest screen, #3 Wake Forest was playing a tight basketball game against Florida State. WF missed a free throw (after making 50 straight – a new NCAA record) with 4 seconds left sending the game into overtime. Then some idiot manager changes the channel. Are you kidding me? And to what – the Dallas Mavericks vs. the Houston Rockets, a 25-point game in the SECOND QUARTER! Not only that, but NONE of the 35-odd TV had the Wake Forest game on now. So I missed a huge upset for throwback NBA uniforms? Who the hell cares?

American Idol is BACK! Hey, if I want to listen to people that can’t sing, I’ll buy an Ashlee Simpson CD. If you think about it, AI can turn horrible singers into stars just as fast as a dad/manager! William Hung made a fortune last year for sucking, and now some crazy girl named Mary Roach gives an insane, Brad Dourif-like testimonial after being told she’s one of the worst singers Simon has ever heard. Give her a month and she’ll be a household name with a recording contract and a summer ’05 tour! She can team up with Diana Ross and Whitney Houston – they could call it the “Off The Meds Tour!”

Everybody Loves Raymond is calling it quits. I don’t love Raymond. In fact, I don’t even like Raymond. Actually, I could care less about Raymond. It’s like listening to Sylvester Stallone do stand-up.

Yeah, I know – I missed BOTH picks for the NFL playoffs this week. What can I say, I let my heart get in the way – same reason why I pulled a 2 in week 15 when I was in contention in the Pick ‘Em! I need time before I even TRY to guess what will happen in the Super Bowl. At least I didn’t put any money on it!

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Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!