Sunday, January 16, 2005

PAFC Newsletter 1/16/05

I know this is going to break many a heart, but the Will, a reality show whose 10 participants competed for the fortune of a 73-year-old rancher, was cancelled after just one episode. The Will joins a small handful of other one-shot blunders in TV history. The most recent was South of Sunset, a CBS detective drama starring Glenn Frey, which debuted Oct. 27, 1993, then was never seen again. With a 6.1 rating, that show attracted what was deemed the smallest audience ever for a series premiere on any major network. For the sake of comparison, the Will got a 2.9 rating. I said blunders.

While we’re talking about garbage, um, reality TV, Paris and Nicole were d-nied! The ugly (in every way possible) little vixens wanted to tape an episode of the Simple Life in a New Jersey middle school, but the parents refused to sign the permission slip brought home by the students. Good for you, NJ! I always knew there was SOMETHING classy about that state! I said vixens.

Because I love reality TV so much – can someone tell me how Survivor has indeed survived for a 10th season? I know there are a lot of my faithful readers out there that love the show, but I just don’t get it. And hearing the promos about “shocking twists and turns that you won’t believe” just make me want to avoid it even more. Like I’m supposed to suddenly say, “oh my GOD – there’s a shocking twist this week on Survivor – now I HAVE to watch!” Ain’t gonna happen. And to think, Wonder Falls, a cleverly scripted show, was cancelled! Don’t go turning on me – if you know me at ALL you know I don’t like these shows. And I don’t expect everyone to listen to Megadeth either. I said cleverly.

My sister really wanted me to comment about the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston break-up. But I can’t think of anything bad to say about them! They were a pretty classy Hollywood couple and they lasted longer than most. However, when I read on the AP that Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson had to comment on the issue, I was disgusted! Who on Earth thinks these two young, dumb bimbos can comment on any relationship after being married for a year or two? Just because they have a reality TV show about their life makes them marriage counselors? Give me a break – any excuse to give this ditz more exposure and the media is all over it! I said exposure.

I realize that the rain, flooding and mudslides in California and Utah are just awful disasters, but the poor guy that lost his pants while being rescued will always be known as…the poor guy who lost his pants while being rescued. I thought the pants falling off yer booty trend was over! Dude – get a belt or quit wearing your older brother’s pants! The guy even lost his undies! And how does one think that going around a barricade in this kind of weather is a good idea? Some dumb woman did this, submerged her car, and her 2-year-old son was found dead 2 miles down the river. Now she’s being charged with homicide. Sometimes there’s a reason to listen to authorities during bad weather! It’s literally impossible watch Governator Arnold looking over the devastation and NOT think he’s in an action film. I keep thinking he’s going to yell, “luk owt” and tackle some woman in ripped clothing. I said booty.

Believe it or not, MLB is cracking down on steroid use! Really! We’re talking random testing all year long – 4 strikes and you’re out…until the end of the season. Heck, it will take the entire season for them to randomly test each player twice at the most! Big shake up there, Bud Selig! You already know whose on the juice, so why not test them weekly? The other guys can be tested 4 times a year. So, what does this mean for all of the records that were shattered by these creatures? (Uh, that’s a rhetorical question.) I said juice.

ESPN has been doing a show called the Season, where they have a camera crew follow a team through an entire season. Last year, they followed my underachieving Colorado Avalanche. The show is really cool because it gives you a look at these players beyond the locker room and shows you what really goes through their heads. There were only two episodes, one for each half of the season, and James Hetfield from Metallica narrated the series. I was able to watch part one (it aired around the All-Star break), but part two ran so quickly after the Avs lost in round 2 of the playoffs that I missed it. But Altitude Sports replayed part 2 this week and it was just awesome. You get to see players reaction to the Todd Bertuzzi hit on Steve Moore, Matthew Barnaby on the training table after being cut badly in a fight that just trying to call his kids and tell them he was OK, the looks on the player’s faces when the season comes to an abrupt end. THIS is reality TV in my mind, not a game show where people have to eat maggots. It was riveting – really! And it made me miss hockey even more, darn it! I said riveting.

So, the Jets miss 2 field goals in the final 2 minutes and lose in OT. Somewhere, Scott Norwood is smiling – finally – after 15 years! And how is it that New England is the only team to totally shut down Peyton Manning? Why didn’t the Broncos watch some of their tape? Anyway, I still think the Patriots won’t go to the Super Bowl, and neither will Philly. I guess that leaves Pitt vs. Atlanta for the big game! I said totally.

1 comment:

Bill Purdy said...

Best... timewaster... EVER!

Yay!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Pat Angello - sorry!